Dating a widower
There are all sorts of dating experiences many have in their lifetime—from the rotating door of bachelors and bachelorettes in our 20s to the more mature approach to finding love in our 30s, meeting a partner is no easy task.That’s what makes widower dating, widow dating or building a connection with a widower/widow that much more difficult.If the photos can’t come down, or the reminiscing is constant and weepy, more time is needed.Most widow(er)s have a support system of friends and family.I was lonely for several years before my husband died.I would have been dating again within a year if I had not been in a car accident that put me out of action for nine months.Ask questions about widow dating, listen carefully, and don’t come to conclusions about the deceased spouse or the previous relationship.
I do not think that someone who is in a great deal of mental pain is a good candidate for a relationship.
The best way to approach this situation with understanding and care is to take a page out of the personal experiences of widows and widowers who explain what they valued at the time: Jedi Soth: “Offer understanding and a willingness to listen and (if necessary) distance for the widow/widower to cope with unresolved issues on their own terms if they choose to go it alone.” Sparkles56: “The best advice I have here is to ask the widowed person, ‘How can I be there for you?
’ Realize that at some points the widowed person might need space, and don’t take that personally.
I don’t expect a woman I am dating, or even more seriously involved with, to “help me get through my pain and loss”, as it relates to my late wife’s passing.
I should have done that prior to entering the relationship.” It’s a reasonable concern, worrying that a widow(er) will compare the next relationship to the one that came to a tragic end.