Dating for people with mental illnes
If you have found that you meet the criteria of a co-addict; it is time to look at how this situation developed.Codependent and Co-addictive behaviors may have roots that date back to childhood.In either case, the adult codependent is a person who puts more value on the person they love then on their own welfare.A co-addict or codependent may lose their identity.I am not saying 100% that an addict cannot be a good partner but from my experience both personal and professional the relationship that theactive addict is in falls far below on the scale of things that are important to their drug of choice.That being said if two people are addicts and they find each other and they are OK with the fact that drugs come first then yes maybe their relationship will be easier.Over time, the child may learn that their feelings are less important and become submissive to that person, parent and/or abuser.The abuse or act of submissive behavior may even be mild; a controlling parent, a self-absorbed parent or a caregiver who abandons a child.
And this is not to say that an addict cannot feel love, this is specifically addressing the fact that an addict who is active cannot be in a healthy relationship with a co-addict.
This behavior can become something that is ingrained and will be carried out into all other areas and relationships in their life.
It is also possible that the adult co-addict or codependent is aware of the abusive relationship they endured which imprinted their lack of sense of self.
For example, if a child’s parent/s or caregivers are addicts then the child may learn early on that they must put their parent and their addiction first.
They are naturally going to come second to a parent’s addiction so they lose their voice, their sense of self and learn to grow up taking care of an addict parent or family member.